Family and Relationships

The significance of the traditional roles of men and women is only significant if the couple plans to behave traditionally.
Tradition states that the Dad works outside of the home and the Mom stays inside the home and work. That is the American tradition of male and female roles in the 20th century.
What say ye? This is not common of most homes? Really?
Lessee...Mom has children to care for and a husband (tradition) to look after. That usually means she is the maid and cook and household manager. These are paid positions in a wealthy household and these people who work these positions are paid well.
It takes a tremendous amount of dedication for a woman to take on this task alone. It is insane to take on these three jobs (excluding wet nurse) and to work outside of the home.
Most folks these days just modify Mom's role by allowing her time off-usually six months-to get acquainted with her baby and find a sitter. Some Moms are allowed up to three years. By that time the baby is ready for preschool.
That is tradition in America.
All Dad has to do is work and possibly be nice to his live-in maid also known as Mom. She will spend most of her time with children. Hopefully the pair will have sex sometime through the week.
When Dad gets home each evening he will want to unwind and get some dinner. It should be hot and waiting on the table when he gets through the door. Mom shouldn't complain and hover during this wind down time or she could find herself dining with the children and Dad at the local tap downing a few or somewhere other than in the vicinity of her big, ungrateful mouth.
Tradition, the cornerstone of America.
Of course I am being sarcastic but unfortunately this scenario is played out in many households to one degree or another.
The solution is to develop a set of values and find a mate who mirrors those values. That way, whatever the arrangement the pair will be happy and find that they can work out most issues of contention. And maybe not get divorced.

Abuse victims can find help

Abuse survivors should find the nearest women's shelter and get a referral from a counselor there. If you are a survivor and decide to get help, how can the resources at a women's shelter be avoided?
These are resources easily accessible in every community in America. Spousal/partner abuse is extremely common and women are the usual victims-for various reasons.
Reasons. Hmmm, let's think about the reasons you were abused in the first place. People who have been abused need to think about the abuse-remember the scenarios and talk to themselves about what happened. This will make you more comfortable and get you in the mindset of talking about the abuse with someone else. Therapists can choose to heal the scars inflicted or can choose to dig further (painful) to get at a root cause for letting another human being walk all over you.
Most abuse occurs in secret and can make the victim feel as if she is insane. It can cause you to walk out of your home half clothed, shoeless, penniless, crying-things one would not normally do in civilized company in a civilized neighborhood.
However, this is the sado masochistic arena in which most abuse is played out.
When you get to the therapist discuss whether you want to heal or dig. Dig may help you gain insight into your role in the abuse situation. Healing focuses past the abuse situation in that it helps you come to terms that it has happened and ways to prevent it in the future.
Healing helps you feel better quicker.
As long as the victim is aware of the different types of therapy available and the various outcomes, it should be a righteous experience.

Homemade Sausage anyone?

Okay, I just made some homemade sausage in my new sausage grinder. My Granny gave it to me. Right now it's boiling because I don't know another way to cure raw meat. Okay, I just checked the sausage and I overfilled one of them and the casing has burst. It smelled like a Vienna beef hot dog but it didn't taste like one.
I bought some cheap cuts of beef and pork and ground them in the grinder. Then I mixed it all together with spices and tried to re-grind it but that didn't work well so I disassembled the tube on the grinder and pushed it through into the casing by hand--literally. My hands have been covered in raw seasoned meat for about an hour. I used bleach to wash them and bleached all of the utensils before putting them into the dishwasher. Also I added tofu. I wanted an all soy sausage but I didn't know how to process that for the correct texture.
If anyone has any suggestions on how to make sausage better, leave a comment.
Oh and Jamie Foxx was particularly delightful singing with Rascal Flatts on the 41st Annual Country Music Awards Wednesday. He looked really good too. I guess country music is in his blood seeing how he's from Texas and all--I reckon.

Paying the Bills

Well, I have to pay the bills. That is why I have chosen to sign up on several to pay-to-blog companies. I'm happy about my decision. I hope those who read my blog agree. I have found out about some really neat stuff that I would probably had never learned about if it were not for my pay-to-blog opportunities. Also, if any of you want to get in on the action, feel free to click on the review my post links that I post in the paid blog posts.
In the meanwhile, I'm learning to write ad copy--which is very exciting to me. I have always wanted to make commercials.
Also, don't forget to click on the lulu.com link to your right and buy my new books. Or maybe you can donate. Click on the paypal donate link and I will continue to delight you with my take on life.

The Women's Suffrage Movement will not be forgotten...

I want to re-introduce this subject to you because I think our society is forgetting all what women have been through to even have what is allowed us now.

...(Our) society severely challenged women's efforts to enter public

life. Through the 1890s, "scientific" reports were being

released which showed that too much education could seriously

hurt the female reproductive system. In 1905 former president

Grover Cleveland wrote in the Ladies' Home Journal that female

voting would upset "a natural equilibrium so nicely adjusted to

the attributes and limitations of both [men and women] that it

cannot be disturbed without social confusion and peril." In

retaliation, women set out to show that rather than disrupt the

social order, woman suffrage would instead maintain it.

Bringing their "natural" roles as mothers and nurturers into

the public arena, women would be able to impose a kind of

"civic housekeeping" upon the competitive and corrupt (male)

state.
Go read the rest of this document.

Children and Gardening

You want to know what happened when I tried to include my

family in my gardening project? Nothing, that is what happened.

They would not have anything to do with it. It was Mommy's

stupid thing to do alone. Of course, the few cherry tomatoes we

had from it were fought over but essentially, it was Mommy's

stupid thing and it's that way because it doesn't look good.

The garden looks abandoned.
Last summer, however, it was different.
People were stopping their cars to take a look. A watermelon

was stolen. I felt good about myself. I didn't feel guilty,

like now.
Following in the footsteps of my parents, I planted fruits and

veggies. I failed to realize how much space vining fruits and

veggies like Pumpkin and Watermelon, would take up. I had such

a small plot of land. It really didn't qualify as plot or land

because it was just a bare patch in the grass where it was too

shady to grow. I turned it into a garden.
The garden was a spectacle-that's why people were stopping and

staring.
The vines of a Pumpkin are very thick. The leaves are

huge-bigger than you hand. Neighbors would stop to chat to see

if they could get me to give them some of my sweet winter

collard greens. They figured I, an African-American female,

would grow something like that. (You know we all know how to

cook soul food and yes, these were other Black folk I was

talking to) They would advise me that the space was too small

for something like Pumpkin or Watermelon and we would stand and

stare at the garden in silence.
Looks of worry and disappointment would criss-cross their face

as we stood in the hot sun discussing the properties of

Pumpkin.
"They use it in spa treatments. I saw it once at a spa in the

North Loop," I would say.
Only a minute or so would go by before I set them straight.

They walked away knowing that they weren't getting any pumpkin

pie out of me.
It is sad that I, a decedent of Sharecroppers, would have such

a blue thumb.
That is why I thought if Mother can do it then so can I-but I

can't-not well anyway.
My 9-year-old boy helped me pick tomatoes for a salad once or

twice. Once he went out there alone to do it.
My autistic daughter,16, would have no part of the mini

harvests.
Maybe next year.

Ultimate Paintball

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was lack of gear. I stumbled across a website called Ultimate

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and even a paintball gun package where everything you would need, would be included.
Everything on the site is easy to find. However, they had one

particular
paint ball gun for sale that seemed easy to use and was in my

budget. I've seen what paint ball can do to clothes, coats etc.

so I want to be prepared!
The Ultimate Paintball site had all of the top-of-the line

names like Tippmann, Spyder, Smart Parts, Dye, Empire and

Draxxus.
So stop using the wrong equipment and getting paint on things

you may want to wear later. Go to Ultimate Paintball.

Homemade Sausage anyone?

Okay, I just made some homemade sausage in my new sausage

grinder. My Granny gave it to me. Right now it's boiling

because I don't know another way to cure raw meat. Okay, I just

checked the sausage and I overfilled one of them and the casing

has burst. It smelled like a Vienna beef hot dog but it didn't

taste like one.
I bought some cheap cuts of beef and pork and ground them in

the grinder. Then I mixed it all together with spices and tried

to re-grind it but that didn't work well so I disassembled the

tube on the grinder and pushed it through into the casing by

hand--literally. My hands have been covered in raw seasoned

meat for about an hour. I used bleach to wash them and bleached

all of the utensils before putting them into the dishwasher.

Also I added tofu. I wanted an all soy sausage but I didn't

know how to process that for the correct texture.
If anyone has any suggestions on how to make sausage better,

leave a comment.
Oh and Jamie Foxx

was particularly delightful singing with Rascal Flatts on the

41st Annual Country Music Awards Wednesday. He looked really

good too. I guess country music is in his blood seeing how he's

from Texas and all--I reckon.

I write for Helium and You can too!

Some parents luck out and find that they have a genius for a

child. Some parents who may not have an honor roll student

still manage to instill the value of learning and making the

most of each school day-these children are blessed. However

there are those who are just there languishing. Either they

have parents who never liked school themselves and unwittingly

(or wittingly) passed the distaste for classrooms on to the

child or the child is possibly in the wrong type of school.
Public schools are for every citizen K-12. Then there are

magnet schools where the pupil has to apply and possibly have a

specific strength like fine arts or math and science.
Charter schools are public schools as well but are looked upon

by many in the education community as less restrictive and more

supportive of students who find learning difficult in a

structured environment-like a neighborhood public school. There

is no tuition required of a true charter school. Fees should be

no more than what any public school needs for uniforms and book

rental. Charter schools get public funding from the respective

local school district.
Another type of school is the college preparatory curriculum

that may be found in day schools-where students go home in the

evening-or boarding schools. These type of schools usually

require a tuition. Financial may be available. Some of these

type of schools are same-sex campus and then some are co-ed.

Many of them are for high school students but there are some

across the country that are open to pupils as young as second

grade or possibly kindergarten.
Military schools are for the student who either wants to be in

the military in the future, attend a military college, need the

rigors of a military school or who come from a family who

attended military academies. They too require a tuition

usually.
Parochial schools are available in a variety of faiths, the

most popular being Catholic and Jesuit. Normally, there is a

tuition requirement.
There is a school for every pupil's need if you are willing to

make sacrifices and conduct a little research.